haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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