So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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