Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
