I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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