Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
