I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
