There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
