i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
