Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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