So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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