So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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