Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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