theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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