And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
