I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
