I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
