The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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