I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
