Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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