My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
