thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
