I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
