just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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