i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
