Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
