windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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