So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
