I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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