It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
