google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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