so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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