we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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