i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
