That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
