Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
