I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
