Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
