Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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