Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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