No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
