i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
