my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
