So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
as a side note pls kill me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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