the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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