Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
