I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
