Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
