My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
