This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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