Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is glitter all over my balls
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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