my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
