I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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