and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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