She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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