Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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